My boyfriend is cheating, don't know how to deal?

Ok, so here is my story... I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He has cheated on me before, once that I know of. I am 100% sure he has cheated multiple times, but I have never caught him directly. I went to see him over the weekend. He had to work from from 6 PM-1 AM. I feel asleep at his house, when I woke up at 2 AM he wasn't there. I called him about 4 times and texted, and he never responded or called me back. He never came home. This was 2 days ago, I still haven't heard from him. He must have been out partying and I have a feeling he slept at a girls house. He has done this type of thing before.


I am so upset, frustrated, and I don't know how to deal with it. I am a nice, normal girl, and I don't know how i got caught up with a cheating boyfriend. It is a horrible cycle of ups and downs and never knowing what he is doing. I know in a few days he will call and act like nothing happened and try to make up like he always does.





I guess this is where I need advice. This guy is a total jerk, but I am totally in love with him. After 5 years, this incident finally put me over the edge and I am ready to get out of this cycle and attempt to end it. It is so hard though, has anyone ever been through something like this? How do I stay strong and tell him that he has lost me for good this time?





I really want to get out of this unhealthy relationship and love myself again. I miss the old me. I love my boyfriend so much, but he hurts me emotionally all the time. How do you learn to put yourself first again? And where do I find the strength to just not take his calls?





Also, when he calls me in a few days (he is like clockwork) what do I say? SHould I even pick up the phone?








Thank you so much for all your advice, I need all the strength I can get.


I'm sorry for this long question, but this is the first time in 5 years I feel I'm actually ready to do this, and I'm scared sh*tless to be on my own in the world again, and to leave the person I love so much and would do anything for, even though I know its the best thing for me.My boyfriend is cheating, don't know how to deal?
Trust me, you CAN do this. First thing, NO do not answer his phone calls. If he is not answering his phone, there's no reason why you should be giving in and answering his. Secondly, I know it feels like you are in love and you will be lost without him, but you are already lost, you have lost yourself. Your whole world probably revolves around him and what he's doing. That is stressful. You need to cut ties, gather up your strength and move on. Get to know yourself again, you'll find that you are a very strong woman and will be much happier without this bullshit. You will eventually fall in love again, but remember, happiness doesn't come from another person, it comes from within yourself. You Do Not Need Him, You Will Be A Better Person Without Him. Please don't waste your life with a disrespectful jerk, you're only hurting yourself. The sooner you can leave him, the sooner you can get on to being truly happy.My boyfriend is cheating, don't know how to deal?
Personally, I'm impressed with you. Five years! Wow! I don't think I have the guts to give my boyfriend a second chance if he ever cheats on me. Okay, to answer your question.





First, ask him the main question straight to his face. ';Tell me the truth, are you cheating on me?'; If he denies it then he really is a jerk. He needs to know the reason why you're ending your relationship for good. Then tell him it's over. I know it's hard but we need to stand up for ourselves.





Secondly, I know you love your boyfriend very much but don't you think you deserve to be love as well? I'm sure there's someone out there who deserves you much better. Don't waste your time on someone like him.





Thirdly, if he ever calls, answer the phone for the last time. It could be a good bye unless you want to tell him personally. Just make sure you're with someone in case something happens.





Lastly, isn't love about finding true happiness? If you are really meant for each other then why are you hurting so much? I think that's enough reason for you to end this relationship. You want to be happy, that thought is enough to give you the strength you needed.





















well the second you knew he was cheating you should have dumped him on the side of the road.





once a cheater, always a cheater.





I'm sorry if this frustrates you but it is your fault for letting him get away with it.





He uses you for what he wants then leaves for other girls.





GET RID OF HIM ALREADY!






FIRST OFF YOU NEED TO GET YOUR THINGS FROM HIS HOUSE IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING THERE AND LEAVE. WRITE HIM A LETTER STATING HOW YOU FEEL AND EVERYTHING YOUR THINKING. TELL HIM ITS OVER AND YOU CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE. YOU DO NOT DESERVE SOMEONE WHO IS GOING TO CHEAT OR NOT CALL YOU THAT IS NOT HEALTHY. IF MY MAN WASNT TO CALL ME FOR DAYS AND HE WASNT ANSWERING MY PHONE CALLS HUNNY IT WOULD BE OVER. STOP STRESSING AND LET HIM GO. HE WILL REALIZE WHAT HE LOST AND IF HE DOESNT THEN YOUR BETTER OFF. IF HE TRULY LOVED YOU AND WANTED TO BE WITH YOU HE WOULD BE CALLING YOU, COMING HOME TO YOU AND NOT SOMEONE ELSE. IF YOU LIVE TOGETHER BACK HIS STUFF AND THROW IT ON THE FRONT YARD...HE NEEDS TO LEARN A LESSON. 5 YRS IS A LONG TIME AND HES JUST WASTING YOUR TIME TO FIND SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE WITH YOU RESPECT YOU AND LOVE YOU NOT CHEAT AND NOT CALL. ITS NOT HEALTHY
time heals all wounds. Get some good friends to help you through it.





you could also tell him that since he keeps cheating you have decided that you are now in an open relationship and that you feel free to sleep with whomever you want. You don't actually have to, just tell him that and make him believe it. Then tell him that if he has a problem with it he has to stop.
I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years, and it sucked at first, but was the best decision I have EVER made.





Let me clear about this...CHEATING IS DISGUSTING. I don't understand why you stayed with him after the first time. If someone cheats and you don't break up with them (permanently), then there was no final consequence for their horrendous behavior, they don't learn any lesson, they probably have less respect for you because you obviously don't respect yourself, and they'll do it again. I have told my boyfriend that if he ever cheated on me, I'd break his kneecaps and never speak to him again. And he has permission to do the same to me. There is NO excuse for cheating. This guy does not love you.





Please don't answer the phone if he calls. It's over. Turn off your phone, or even better, change your phone number. Do not IM, text, see, or speak to him. Go buy ';It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken'; by Greg Berendt to feel more confident and determined. Stay home, visit family and friends, and don't date again for a while. You need to learn to have better standards, and how to be happy on your own.





You need to do all of this, or you only have yourself to blame for any more pain.
You stay strong by remembering all the times he has made you feel like crap. When he gets all apologetic you have to tell yourself you don't care and that he is just going to keep hurting you over and over again. Obviously if things have not gotten better within the last 5 years, they are NEVER going too! Cut your losses and move on, it's your only chance to be truly happy with a man who loves you and will treat you right! And remember it is better to be alone and happy than to be in a crap relationship and miserable!!