How to deal with a boyfriend who has some close girlfriends?

My boyfriend and I have dated for about 2 years now. It has been somewhat of a rollercoaster in some aspects, but I feel like we are getting to a good point in our relationship. But there is one thing that bothers me that I dont think should, this is that he has a few close friends that are girls. I used to have close guy friends when I was single but have since lost touch. So I have difficulty reversing the rolls and putting myself in his shoes when it comes to having friends of the opposite sex. There are 3 of them who he chats with, one is the sister of a good friend of his thats always hung out with them, the other is one he and his buddies have known who is sort of tom boyish and likes to hang out with ';the boys';. the third he has known since before I came around who is dating one of his good friends brothers. 2 of these girls I am non threatened by phsyically as I dont consider them attractive and I KNOW that he does not either. The third is attractive but is practically engaged to one of his good friends brothers, but she like hanging out with ';the boys'; a lot too (just one of those girls) But I still seem to be bothered knowing that they call and text him. He has known them all for btwn 4-7 years..My boyfriend is the kind of guy who can make friends in a heart beat. he is very outgoing and very well liked by almost everyone we meet. One of these girls just got out of a 7 year relationship and calls him a slightly more often (maybe 1-2x every 2 weeks)...to chat. I know her and do like her, but am starting to become irritated. The tom boyish girl i think is jealous now of my boyfriend being with me because he doesnt hang out as much as he used to. I knwo that the texts are harmless and that they have been going on since before i was around. I have even seen the texts in his phone and know that they are just stupid things like text forwards or ';hey download this song i think you will like it'; blah blah....they have invited he AND I to do things in the past couple years but he and I rarely make it. I invited them all to his bday party that way I could meet them all. I think that I have just plain insecurities in our relationship because I am not very trusting in general. Sometimes I pick fights over things like girls calling him all the time (which in reality isnt that often)...or i find myself making fun of those girls, which annoys him as well. I dont think there is anything going on with him and any of these girls, but I get bothered because I dont have any guy friends so I cant relate. And there has also been 2x where he had wanted to go to lunch with a girl friend of his who I'd never met. I freaked out on him , which I know made him mad and just really strained our relationship. I know he wouldnt cheat on me and he has done his best to help with my insecuirities, but really I am the only one who can fix those....does anyone know how!!? I would appreciate insight from girls who have boyfriends with close girlfriends or from guys who are that way. For some more info I am 25, my BF is 28. we thanks!How to deal with a boyfriend who has some close girlfriends?
WOW !!!!! I too have several female friends - both at work and socially. One is a friend I've had for quiet some time. VERY attractive, sexy blonde. Who happens to be (unhappily) married. WE understand there is nothing (sexual) between us - just good, long-time friends. As long as WE have this straight between us - it shouldn't be a problem for YOU. SO....he hasn't done anything to give you ANY indication that anything is going on - but yet, that isn't enough and you have to FIND ways to create drama.....NICE. Keep up this clingy, insecurity and you'll probably end up running him off ! (I'm glad MY g/f understands I have female friends and isn't threatened by it !!!!) As far as how to 'fix' your problems - it may take loosing him for you to see that YOU were the problem.





I REALLY don't wanna come off sounding like an azz, but it's the truth that I think you really need to hear (and understand)How to deal with a boyfriend who has some close girlfriends?
I can't read that so I will just say ';I dunno';
my boyfriend has a lot of girlfriends too. just think of it this way... YOUR HIS ONE AND ONLY GIRLFRIEND! sure he hugs those girls and stuff, but you are the one he'd kiss, touch you and stuff. he's only yours. those girls can only see him, but can't touch him like you do or he can't touch em like he touches you.
U need to talk to your BF about how this make you feel point blank. at the end of the you are his gf and he should respect some boundaries u want to set. Its not like these are new friends cause like u said he has known them since before dating you but i do not see why he needs to call and text these girls 2-3 times a week?? He is a grown man not some highschooler. U should be his main focus. I would be bothered by this to. I would tell him all this and maybe set some ultimatum if he refuses to stop calling them and texting. What could they possibly have to talk about that they can't do in person the next time you all meet up??
evey one passes through this phase in relationsip.





keep patience. if you are sure of your love, he will not cheat you, it is your fears that is running riots.





you are feeling jealous of him and are now making up show . this is not your fault, but your hidden fears.


This emotions need to be understood and only then will it be under your control


no amount of your counselling can solve this problem.
I TOTALLY get the irritation and jealousy you are feeling; I was the same way with both of my exes (the 1st I dated for 6 mos. and the 2nd I dated for 3 years). Now I am single, but in a tight group of friends (3 boys and 4 girls), so i get the friendship with the opposite sex now. However, I would never agree to a one-on-one lunch date with one of my guy friends who is in a relationship; I just think that it crosses boundaries...even though I am not interested in them, and they are not itnerested in me, i still think certain thigns are inappropriate when you are dating someone seriously. i think you shoudl talk to your boyfriend, just explain this to him; agree on some boundaries. tell him what makes you uncomfortable and why.
It sounds like despite all your insecurities that you do trust him. Do yourself a favor, and act like it! I know it can be difficult.. my fiance had a very close female friend for years before we started dating. She would send him these fabulous presents for his birthday and Christmas, and I knew that they'd had crushes on each other in the past. At the same time I trusted him and knew she wasn't trying to go after him.





It's just something you have to keep reminding yourself. And excercise mucho restraint. Examine your emotions and the causes for them before starting an argument about these other girls. You could end up losing the relationship entirely if you don't give him the respect and trust he deserves. At the very least, you're hurting him unnecessarily.





Good luck good luck!!





EDIT: Seeing some of the other answers.. I *really* don't recommend setting ultimatums. That's reinforcing the idea that you don't trust him, which isn't going to encourage a positive and open relationship. I also disagree with the ';crossing boundaries'; thing.. at least from personal experience. If you can't trust each other to go out to lunch with a friend of the opposite sex, you don't have enough trust to sustain a long-lasting relationship.