When your parents don't like your boyfriend- how to deal with that?

To make a long story short, my parents do NOT like the guy I was with. I am saying ';was'; with, because we broke up in August but were trying to remain friends ever since. It wasn't that we wanted to break up, but we can't be together due to circumstances.





Anyway, I got into a big argument on Christmas Day about him- at my parents' house. I forget how his name even got brought up, but it made my parents really upset. They told me, that apparently they were told in the early fall (after he and I ';broke up';) that he was charged with assault from his ex-wife (I am 26, and he is a few years older than me) Anyway, he ended up being charged with assault because he admitted that he restrained her after she had kicked him in the you know what, and threw a jewellery box at his head. And no, I'm not trying to pick up for him.. it was all documented at the time, etc. But he did admit to restraining her that night until the cops arrived. Also, she had apparently been cheating on him with one of those cops! So ANYWAY.. the whole point here is that she's not exactly the most stable kind of person either, and she did cause alot of problems for him in the past.





Now, really.. he and I were friends for a couple years BEFORE we even had a relationship, and then we were together for a couple of years. If he was really that type of person (abusive, etc.) don't you think that his true colors would have shown by now, to me??





When we were together, we were so happy all the time and didn't even so much as argue!! We got along so well. And now, it's like, I can't be with him because of his ';past,'; and the fact that his ex charged him with assault does not make my parents very happy about me being with him.





So, on Xmas Day, they even told me that they don't even want to SEE me anywhere with him, and that I can't even be friends with him anymore. Remember, I AM 26 years old!! This is so frustrating!!





Any advice, please?!!When your parents don't like your boyfriend- how to deal with that?
If he will lay his hands on his ex-wife in anger REGARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES, he will eventually lay his hands on you.





He could have walked away from the situation.. could have just turned his back and walked out the door, but he CHOSE to remain and restrain her.





If you think he would never do that to you, you're not only naive, but you're stupid, as well. Abusers always start out as charming, but anyone who would physically restrain someone in their own home, instead of walking out of the situation will eventually show their true colors.





I am very good friends with a woman who was POSITIVE that her boyfriend wouldn't lay a hand on her, even though he had been previously charged with unlawful restraint of his ex-wife (when he could have walked out)...she discovered the error of her ways a few months later when he forcibly restrained her, choked her until she passed out and soiled herself, bit her until he left a permanent mark on her arm, and kicked her until she was covered with bruises.





Honey, if he chooses violence over walking away, GOOD RIDDANCE. You don't need that kind of trash in your life.





ETA: Your parents are just trying to avoid dealing with a daughter who apparently doesn't mind a life full of drama. It sounds like they don't care for all the drama... I don't blame them.When your parents don't like your boyfriend- how to deal with that?
Your parents don't like him for a reason. Take your parents advice. Also, if he assaulted his ex, he may do it again.
Love is blind. Your parents see something in him you don't and are trying to save you from heartache. Take their advice and wisdom!
live your life to the fullest as you want to !





be happy with you and who ever you choose!
Ultimately, your parents most likely have your best interest at heart here, so you'd be wise to LISTEN TO THEM!
While your parents most likely have your best interest at heart, they also could be wrong.


With 26 you should be out of their house, living by yourself and learn by yourself.





Parents might can advise and speak their mind to someone who is 26 - but not tell them to break up with this one, not be friends with that one - or any of that.





Once you are financially independent - you will also be in your live independent.





Good luck to you
your parents sound very controlling and people who dont realize that their child is an adult. You can choose to take their advice, or choose not but it is fully your decision and they should have 100% absolutely no say whatsoever in it!!! ridiculous!!
That's SHORT?


Ok well anyways your parents just have to accept who you are dating. You are dating him not them. I know that they just want the best for you but still. Your 26 you can make decision's for yourself.
Unless your parents are mentally handicapped, I would listen to them. This guy sounds like a big pile of trouble. Even if it's not his fault...he makes poor choices.





3 billion males on the planet and this is the one your bring home?





Sorry, but I side with your parents. Better safe than sorry.





Good Luck!
Parents only act this way when their daughter is still living under their roof. If your on your own, living your own life, I see no reason why any of this is their business, no less how they know so much about an ex-boyfriend?!? That part is a bit odd.
Remind your parents that you're 26 years old, and that they raised you to take care of yourself, make good judgments, and get all the facts before coming to a decision about something or someone. You're not going to force them to associate with him if they're not comfortable with that, but they need to trust that you're capable of using those lessons without their guidance now, especially if they want you to continue to tell them what's going on in your life.