Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to deal with my boyfriend's ex and continue a normal life?

My fiance and I have been together almost 2 years now. We worked together for 4 years. We were both out of long, exhausting relationships with our exes. He had a 1 year old daughter with his ex, and his ex was not ready to give up on their relationship. Well, one thing led to another, he and I found out we had a lot in common and we started dating. When his ex found out about us, she would follow us, drive by our homes, she had my plates run, she would hack into my fiance's voice mail and find out info and then lie about how she knew the info, she broke into his truck, she makes up more stories then Star magazine, etc, etc. The drama goes on. I have always been a relaxed and laid back person who enjoys living a private, simple life. Well, almost two years later I'm starting to question how much more I can deal with. She's starting to affect our relationship. My fiance cannot stand her and he left her because they constantly fought and she accused him of cheating all the time. He wanted a better life for his daughter, so he wanted to raise her seperately from his ex.


Just when I think this girl can't get any worse, she does. She constantly lies about everything and she says horrible things to my fiance infront of their daughter. For instance, his daughter is going to be 3 and when she is with us every other weekend she does not need or ask for a binki, and the mother knows that, but she makes up excuses like ';I'm a single mother, I need her to have the binki because I cannot stand listening to her after I work all night';. And last weekend when he went to pick up his daughter, he took the binki out of her mouth and her mother flew off the handle telling him he's a horrible father for doing that, etc, etc. She's making it ';not ok'; for his daughter to want to be with her father.


I'm at a loss. His laywer says we need to ignore her, but I feel like there should be more we can do. She's a jealous person, she enjoys lying and making people around her miserable. She uses the excuse ';I'm a single mother'; for everything.


On the lighter side, I have the man of my dreams...and some baggage. He and I are very happy together when his ex isn't calling with one of her ridiculous excuses to be on the phone with him. He and I have a lot in common and love each other very much. I just cannot tolerate his daughter coming to the house and saying things to us that her mother tells her to say. It's very childish on her mothers part. ';mommy said her house is better then yours';, ';mommy said that daddy took all her money away';.


I don't know what to do anymore. How do I deal with a crazy person and stop letting her affect my life?! I think about her and things that she says and does on almost a daily basis and it's taking over my life. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better for me to leave and let him deal with her so it will stop affecting my life, because I'm not quite sure how else to do that.


It's easy for someone to tell me to not think about it, or let him deal with it, so that is definitely not the help I'm looking for.


I'm hoping that someone has some good advice to offer.


Help...























How to deal with my boyfriend's ex and continue a normal life?
Love is worth the bagage , he is worth it. You just have to set bounderies.have him ask her for full custody if she hates being a single mother so bad than maybe that would work, but i doubt it so you both need to talk to her tell he that what she is doing is not good for her daughter, explain the you and him are very happy and staying together and the only time she needs to call is if something is going on with daughter. Seek the help of police if she continues to harass you both and realize no matter what they 3 year old says she is a child dont blame her because she doesnt understand and when she gets older she will figure it out. His ex is miserable and trying to make you guys miserable enjoy life and dont let her get to youHow to deal with my boyfriend's ex and continue a normal life?
If I were you, I would take your fiance, drive to her house. Sit on her couch and talk to her about how this is effecting your life. She'll be shocked by the confrontation and might leave you alone.

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