How would you deal with this boyfriend situation?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, have 2 beautiful kids together (4yo %26amp; 9months old). We seperated recently for 1 month because we were having a lot of issues %26amp; had been fighting a LOT. I also had a lot of trust issues, from a previous relationship and I still haven't gotten over a lot of them, which is a HUGE strain on our relationship. BUT, at the same time, he has done a lot of things to cause trust issues on his own. So yeah, last night, I was looking at his text messages and there was a message from his MALE cousin saying ';Hey stranger. I live in *(city)* now. How are you?'; and i was like hmm...that's a litle strange coming from his very ghetto talking cousin. So just out of curiosity, I decided to block my number and call his cousins #. Well, low %26amp; behold it is NOT his cousin. During that 1 month that him and I had seperated he started talking to an old female friend (who has ALWAYS liked him.) and he doesn't knwo that I know they kissed. But he swore to me that he had deleted her # and not spoken to her since we got back together. But NOW, I know it is becaues he just switched her # under his COUSINS name. How should I handle this without sounding like I'm checking in on everything he does? I mean, I know, I SHOULD have trust...but, would you have trust if you kept catching somebody in lies? He told me that this time we were TRULY going to work on our relationship, and no more BS. But yet, here he is lying to me...I am so hurt, but trying not to flip out...We live almost 5 hours from her, so it's not like he's CHEATING on me, but at the same time, it's still things being done behind my back, and something that he LIED about....





What I did is....I sent a text message to her, just a picture of our kids (which I send to all of his friends) off of my phone (i have the # in my phone too cause I thought it was his COUSINS #) and I am waiting for her to reply with ';who is this?'; and take it from there...She hasn't seen my daughter in years, and has never met our son, so she wouldn't know who the kids in the pic are. Anyway....omg, how heartbreaking...what should I do or say to HIM?How would you deal with this boyfriend situation?
it is incredibly difficult to build trust on issues like this , i also struggle to trust my man even though he turned out to be innocent. i think he is maybe looking for a sympathetic ear and while he hasn't done anything yet hopefully it was just because he felt the need to talk to someone while u were going through rough times. if she is at least a decent girl she will probably leave him alone when the gravity of the situation becomes known to her (your children together) and when she doesn't give him the attention he should lose interest. confront him gently and explain how damaging things like this are. if he wants to be in contact with her he should be honest with you and he needs to understand that right now you need all the love , support and focus from him on your relationship. he needs to decide once and for all if he is going to fully commit himself to your relationship and your family togetherHow would you deal with this boyfriend situation?
Time for some help. You both need to start talking probably with a referee. Nobody can be allowed to lie.