Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Do you think my boyfriend is cheating or am I just insecure?

My boyfriend of three years started acting funny Tuesday. Normally he always wants me to come over his house, but this night he said he was going home and going to bed and he call me later that night. Well he never called, so I called and no answer. I called multiple times. Of course he says he fell asleep which I believed until this morning.





Yesterday he came home from surfing and his face smelled of another female. He immediatly said that it was lotion from his friends girlfriend that he used for dry skin...okay. I was suspicious at this moment, but got over it, maybe he's telling the truth. Then he runs upstairs to get in the shower and shuffles me out of the bathroom. He always usually wants me in there with him to talk etc... but this was strange. I asked him why he's acting strange and he said he's acting normal.





He did say something like, ';Im just so lucky to have you in my life and sometimes I don't know how good of a thing I have being with you, i love you.'; This was nice and shortly after he fell asleep.





This morning his phone got a text message and something made me open the phone and see what it was. It was a message from a girl he was interested in from the past before me and him. The text read, ';Are you in trouble?'; WTF! What the hell, I was furious. For one I noticed her number in his phone 2 months ago. I told him to remove it and he promised, obviously he didn't because her name showed up. I asked him what this meant and he came up with some weird story about running into her yesterday and that he made it seem like he was gonna fight somebody. Okay...still makes no sense. I was pissed, everything is now coming together, him not wanting me to come over, not wanting me near him in shower, smelling of female lotion.





I accused him of lying to me and presented all this evidence today, but he denies it. He gets so pissed about it. He thinks I am insecure and jealous. I told him that if the text message means nothing then why not text her back with me around and then see what she says. He wouldn't do it, he pretty much said he would rather break up then do that. He said I could call her, which I said fine give me the number and he refused to even give me that. So I hung up the phone and he and called back 15 minutes later acting calm and said that it was fine for me to call her...Oh yeah now that maybe he has already talked to her possibly and told her whats going on?! I told him that I guarentee if I check his phone later all his recent calls will be deleted and text messages, he didn't deny this, but said he had to go and wants to talk to me later. I couldn't believe it and still don't know what to believe or do.





Please don't just tell me to dump him, because trust me that is already my number one option right now, but I want to know what you all think.





He is making it seem like I am making a big deal out of nothing and that I am the crazy one. He yells at me on the phone and thinks all of this is a waste of his youth. We are both 23 by the way.





UPDATE: I just called him to get her number and he refused to give it to me. He was in front of his friends obviously trying to show off and make me look stupid. I asked him why he is trying to protect her, and he just brushed it off like I am dumb. I stated that it's obvious he is cheating and he just said whatever to me and hung up.





That is the last time I talked to him and I have been hysterical. I know I should break it off with him, but it is hard to gain the strength. Help!





Please let me know and thanks for reading!Do you think my boyfriend is cheating or am I just insecure?
A situation just like this happened to my bestfriend and her boyfriend about two weeks ago. Except I watched him try to cheat on her while I was around. I think he could possibly be cheating or talking to her on the side. I know its hard to walk away and dump him after three years, but don't put up with that crap, he is acting way to sketchy. Hope everything works outDo you think my boyfriend is cheating or am I just insecure?
sounds like hes cheating but first make sure that your correct before persuing anything
if is your bf seems to be acting different then b4 then that is a bad sign
Well obviously you know that you should break up with him because you don't deserve that type of behavior. You're venting...but wait until he calls you that way you'll have time to sit over it and stew. Then you'll be resolute. But until you know exactly what to do, don't anser his calls/texts.
Hey girl!Sorry to hear that!Believe me from experience!Follow your instinct,and stand your ground!I caught my boyfriend being dishonest just recently and confronted %26amp; i got the same response(all pissed,making it seem like i'm the one who's wrong)i told him he's getting mad because he knows he's wrong but can't admit it,then he stayed silent for about half a minute.(so obvious!)I suggest you use a trick of the mind.You can get him to give it away then you'll know exactly what to do.Here one:Tell him you love him nomatter what,Tell him if he's cheated that you love him so much you wouldn't care and would forgive him you just need to know the truth ,so there won't be a void in the way.Tell him it's all good and you know nobody is perfect!If he spills the beans or gives it away tell him how you really feel,give him a taste of his own medicine:manipulation.Get back at me if you'd like!
Sounds like he has a double life! If you're already sniffing smoke in your relationship, you may want to go ahead and check for fires. If you find out he has another ';life';, be sure you don't fan the flames by being passive.





Some advice? Take control --- cut your losses and evacuate the building
Okay I have always been a believer in giving people my trust until it has proven otherwise. He is acting weird, but I don't know if it is cheating and I am not one to believe when in doubt then he must be cheating. I would go back to his character. Is he one to normally lie, has he cheated before, and have you been cheated on before.





Now this last question is more to see if you are more apt to believe he is lying then most. I was once cheated on and it hurt, but I broke it off immediately. This has caused me to be more cautious then others. I do recognize it for what it is though, jealousy and decide to move on.





I would try to drop the subject and move on. This will do two things. Let you guys hopefully move to a better place and he will let his guard down.





Keep an eye on things, but don't get in his face about anything unless you have proof. Once you do have proof then dump him. If you never do then consider this not a big deal.





Good Luck!
I would guess ';yes.'; However, just sit back and wait, she will give you confirmation. She wants you to know so you dump him then she can have him all to herself. She never would have texted him if she was truly concerned about keeping this quiet. That text message was for your eyes by the way. If she doesn't start calling, them she will tell one of your friends so that you will find out. In this day and age, I wouldn't stick around and get the STD that he is bound to get sooner or later.


Blame reversal (saying your crazy, paranoid, etc.) is a very typical behavior of a cheater. Don't be fooled by it.





I am sorry you're having to experience this.
your boyfriend is cheating on you. obviously though. All the things you mentioned tie in perfectly and if he cannot give you a straight answer as to why all these things are happening then yes you must break it off. You don't deserve him and he's not worth it. I cannot believe that he would make up all that stuff to tell you it's all lies babe. I know this sounds harsh but seriously you don't even need to talk to him about this anymore. I would send him a text saying that it's over and if he wants to talk to you it's gotta be in person. then you'll see how much he really cares about you. i'm sorry by the way.





Good Luck


tess oxox :)

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