How should i deal with my boyfriend's mom's offensive behavior?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and we absolutely love each other. We live together and we always talk about marriage and children, the usual talk about two people starting lives together. She told his grandma that we didn't need to be thinking about having kids or buying a house, thinking about or future in general. Recently his mom has started to give us ';advice'; on almost every aspect of our lives and we don't ask for it, she just dishes it out. At some points it has even been iappropriate and makes me feel embarrassed or hurt my feelings. My boyfriend doesn't really have a good relationship with his mom and has admitted to both of us that he doesn't and never will love her. When he was young she cheated on his dad and left them both. When she does offend me or him, she always tries to put it off as a joke. One time we were over her house and she told us out of the blue not to have kids ever, and if we did wait til we finish college. I would also like to add that we are in our early 20s and are very mature for our age. We don't party,drink, or smoke which his mom always does. I find it extremely offensive when she smokes in the car with us in it. She's even blown smoke in our faces and she knows I have bad asthma and it makes my breathing bad, she even called me a drama queen when I told her I had asthma and when I use my inhaler. She tells me not to do stuff that I don't even do like, going to late work or being rude. Sometimes I'm so confused by her. She's always trying to give us her old tacky furniture after telling us how bad it sucks. She even told my boyfriend he needed to school to be a lawyer even though he doesn't have a passin for it anymore cause she said he needed a lot of money or our kids would hate us for not being rich. Now she doesn't have a job, she lives of off her deceased husband's SSI money and she has a 6 year old daughter from him. My parents don't make much either but I have never had hate towards them because I know they try hard and they love me very much. She has even told me that I'll be like her and cheat or her son. I know I never would because that's not my personality. She has said if I don't go to college I'll be just like her, if anything I'd be like my mom who didn't finish middle school and started her own business. It's gotten to the pouint where I don't even want to go over there because I know something is gonna happen. His sister has adhd and we know this for a fact cause no one just acts like she does and its definitely not a normal hyper child. She's always jumping on me and I know its not her fault she has adhd but I would love for her mom not to make excuses that she loves me, or misses me. Btw his mom denies the fact that his sister has adhd because she thinks that means she's a failure and it her fault. She even said she smoked sometimes while she was pregnant with her. She even says she needs to find a dad for her daughter because she's sad when she sees other little girls with their dads. I've actually witnessed her talking about marrying a rich man for his money so they can get a nice house. One day his sister was talking about hot boys and his mom said I don't want you to be thinking about boys heck, ';I don't even like your brother dating!'; That was 3 weeks ago and it took 5 minutes for her to say it was a joke which I highely doubt. I think she's odd and somewhat twisted, she talks about how she thinks my boyfriend probably looks like his dad down their. My boyfriend told me he was scared she wanted to see him naked when he lived with her last year. I really need good advice, I'm way to nice to say or do anything but slightly smile or look at my boyfriend and then him and her start arguing nonstop. Although there has been times when I stop talking and I clearly look mad. I want to know what to do before she crosses the line or worse I stand up for myself. I would hate to have children and have them grow up around her rude and immature comments. She even talks about us having sex in front of everyone.





P.S.


When we get married sometime down the road is it rude to just invite my mother and two sisters to find my wedding dress. The reason being that too many opinions are unwanted and we all have the same tastes. His mom has terrible style and I don't want her or his sister their because she is way too young and off the wall and his mom being offensive just gives me a reason to have it that way.





Someone please help me!!!!How should i deal with my boyfriend's mom's offensive behavior?
tell your boyfriend to tell his mother ( sad excuse) to back off and get a life. I would really be real busy, hope you don't live close to each other





She sounds like she has some mental health probs





good luck hon, just because she is older , you don't have to put up with that behaviour





Well, you have a talk with your boy friend and say , I won't let her smoke around me, talk like that, be given advise she never followed herself. She just might love to see you get tiffed....don't give her that





As for a future wedding, stick with your family...after all it is your wedding





all the best , hugs

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