Why do I feel this way over cheating boyfriend?

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years. It’s been 2 months since then and right now I feel bad because I know he is taking the break very hard. It makes me sad but at the same time I tried so hard in the relationship to make things work. We had a lot of things in common and I was happy at first. And all though there were lots of red flags in the beginning, I ignored them.





But then he cheated on me in 2007. He did in the clear public view. I even had my friends call me and tell me that they saw him kissing another girl. Then when I confronted him about it he lied and said that it wasn’t any thing and that same night he told me he loved me. Right…..I was in denial. So then I found out months later that he was cheating and I spoke to the girl. Silly me forgave him that same weekend. What helped me forgive him was his mother. She cried and begged me not to leave.





After that I had to deal with him not being motivated to get a job, his license, being so co-dependent and continuing to be a mamas boy. I loved him so much, I thought I could put up with it. I thought he would one day change. I tried talking to him to see where our relationship was going and what he wanted out of life. And all I got was arguments! He would get so defensive. It was like he was scared to grow the hell up. He's 27 by the way. Then I would catch him in little acts like hanging up the phone really quick when I came in the room, receiving recent naked pictures of girls online and when I needed to use his phone he would delete stuff then hand me the phone. And he would be very immature at times. In public he would start arguments with me over little things and I complained all the time about that stuff.





So this year what really broke the camel’s back was a week after my surgery. A friend told me that he text a girl that I danced with, some nasty s**t of how he wanted to have sex with her and do all of this nasty things to her. I believe he said he would do them if he didn’t have a girl…..whatever!!!! When I confronted him he made it seem like it was nothing. He said he was drunk and that he really didn’t want her like that. Right! His excuse for not telling me was “ Oh I was going to tell you.” So any ways I packed all of his belongings that were at my house and I gave to him and were finished. Because I dance with him also, I can’t help but notice his sadness. And I'm hearing a whole bunch of stories about him when we were together. And my friends were relived that I decided to break up with him. I really loved him. But I am a truly good person that didn't deserve any of that. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so bad? Perhaps I'm just being weak.Why do I feel this way over cheating boyfriend?
Here's my armchair analysis. You feel bad because you're mourning the loss of what might have been. You were naive and way too trusting, which usually means you're hanging on to the way he was or the way you thought he could be, never realizing that the crap you were seeing is the way he IS.





I dated a guy like that before I got married. He'd give you 10% of incredible happiness, but you had to go through 90% pure sh!!t to get there. And a healthy person ultimately sees this and gets out, even if they occasionally think back to that 10%. It gets better as time goes on.Why do I feel this way over cheating boyfriend?
Move on and be thankful you did not marry him...then you would have a bigger problem on your hands. It was a short relationship....get over it.
Who cares?





he was just a boyfriend.





Get over it, and move on.
ok girl now take a print out of this question and read when ever you feel sad about him.what a cheater!
You did the right thing, and you're right in believing that you deserve better. He is disrespecting you and if you wouldn't have left him it would only get worse for you. You'll hurt for a while and maybe miss him too, but you have to remember why you left him. There are better men out there.
You are just being weak. Buck up - that dude sucked - you are way better off. You handled his crap for a long time - now it's over and he is having a hard time with the end of it? Poor thing... HE DOESN';T DESERVE YOU! You'll do much netter - good luck!
yes you are being weak. let him go, he will get over it. this is all an act for him to get you back so that he can treat you the same way. move on with your life, you deserve more than what he can or is willing to give you right now. remember you can love someone, but that does not mean you should be with that person.
Re-read your letter. Can you see the pattern? He know which buttons to push to make you feel bad and he thinks that will work to get you back. Old habits are hard to break. Be done with this one and don't go backwards!
You feel bad because you love him, and that's understandable. If you had stayed with him or take him back he will continue. He needs to grow the hell up and get a job. He is a lazy cheating bum and he doesn't deserve you.Once a cheater always a cheater. You find a good man that will love and respect you, and treat you like you deserve to be treated.