How do I deal with my boyfriend?

I have some issues with my boyfriend...


He's cheated on me for 3 years... but he's a very caring person now...


If I have ever needed something or whenever I'm having issues at home he would take care of me. I still can't forget the past.. I know he's a great guy and I don't want to let go of him. Another thing is that ever since I've gained 40lbs he told me that i have to lose weight because he doesn't find me attractive anymore but he still loves me.. but he won't even touch me. he used to always grab and squeeze me and i really miss that :'( Its hurts to hear him tell me that I'm not attractive anymore because of my weight.. I thought love was unconditional. It's not like i wasn't planning on losing weight but to hear him say that.. just makes me feel like ****.





So, how do i let go of his past? I think about it once everyday...


and how do I deal with feeling unattractive.. what should I do?How do I deal with my boyfriend?
One of you is going to end up leaving each other (it should be you, however I suspect it won't be), and your next relationship will be tainted as a result of it.





Want to know why? You are a typical, abused partner, and yes, cheating is a form of emotional abuse. Despite what they've done to you, you defend them to their grave. When you get together with your new partner and you continue to do this, it's not going to last very long. This happened to me and my current partner when we first got together and it pissed me off no-end, I always used to ask myself, why is he sticking up for her when she treated him like ****?





It's a weird frame of mind that abused people get into ... almost as if, ';If I placate him and give him what he wants, he might just turn back into the Prince Charming I once knew';. Reality check - Prince Charming is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He's got you - he has no reason to revert to his former self, because he knows you're too weak to leave him. He has destroyed your self-esteem to snare you into a caged relationship, to keep you at a distance in which he feels is safe for him. The fact that he's called you unattractive and you FEEL unattractive is a tell-tale sign ... it may sound obvious, but he is breaking you down so that you don't feel good enough for anyone else and won't leave him. Tell me, do you ever feel *lucky* that he has decided to stay with someone as unattractive as yourself? Has he ever said this to you? Well, it's false. He has distorted reality - the truth is, the power is ALL in your hands. There is nothing stopping you from leaving, hence why he has had to abuse you in this way, because he KNOWS it. The sooner you do it, the better your prospects.





He is destroying every fibre of your being and sucking the life out of you.





After watching my mother being abused for years and years ... I wish you the best of luck and I really do hope you find your way through this, regardless of what you choose.How do I deal with my boyfriend?
Girl, from your words, I think that losing some weight could bring some of your confidence back and it could make you a happier person. But don;t do it for him , do it for urself. Men come and go but your confidence and how happy you are with yourself is gonna make you timelessly attractive to men. Indeed love is unconditional but it;s not the only thing taht make a relationshiip work. U BOTH need to work to keep the spark.
Lose the weight and tell him you are trying your best! Make him realize who you truly are, make him fall in love with you and touch you. I feel like he just loves you for our appearance. If you se who he dates like if he dates pretty hot girls that means he would just act to love you. No offense. But he loves you, am I right. Be attractive inside and out you way. Let him want to hold you forever.
Dump him! Dont let go of his past, let go of HIM. If he has the nerve to cheat on you and tell you to ';lose weight'; he isnt worth it! You shouldnt take that sh*t, you deserve better hun.





As for the unattractrive problem, I dont know. Maybe eat better and join a gym. Look for excercises in magazines and things like that. Just remember, people come in all shapes and sizes, its whats on the inside that counts.
You let go of the past, work harder on the present, and you won't have time to think about the past.....








As for your other problem... he is trying to motivate you to actually do something....';It's not like I wasn't planning'; is not doing....you want that feeling back, quit moping, and start running or walking or whatever you do to get the 40 pounds off......
I dated a guy for 3 years and found out he was stealing money from me to support his drug habbit! Honestly, as hard as it is, you can get over him and move on to find someone who is attracted to you the way you are, loves you, wants to make things work and will never cheat on you! He's out there! Don't hang on to some idiot just because you have for 3 years.. don't waste another minute on him! Get up, Get Strong, Do something good for yourself.. Move on!
girl, you need to find a guy who does NOT cheat on you, and doesn't tell you you're unnattractive because of your weight. the right guy will find you beautiful and love you without conditions. he's only in love with your appearance if he thinks you're not pretty now that you've gained weight. he's clearly not mr. right. sorry hunny, and i wish you luck in finding a better one!
You have no control over what other people do.You do have power and control over what you do and how you let people treat you. If you feel unattractive, do something about it. Cut your portions in half and get some exercise. Not only will you look better, but you'll feel better and it will do wonders for your self esteem. Do it for yourself. You need to have your own best interests as your priority.
Sweetie i think you HAVE to dump him. A guy that cheats for 3 years isn't someoneyou should forgive and get back to. How do you know he's not doing it now and WTF your not attractive but he loves you!


You don't need to be think just to make him happy. I mean he's a pathetic jerk that has issues. DUMP HIS SORRY ***! :))


Your not married yet so i theres LOADS of different guuys that will be in your lifeee!!! Good Luck!!
Honestly, i think you should leave him. He cheated on you. If he loved you from the start he wouldve never done it. And to tell you your unattractive because of your weight is over the top. Every girl is beautiful. Weight or none. And you deserve much better. If he loved you would he have cheated? No. If he loved you would he tell you your heavy and unattractive? No.





Let go.


asapalli=]
well him saying youra re unattractive that is not been a sweet person that's one of the worst things you can say to a girl. It sounds to me like you two should take a break and u can focus on yourself and feel better about everything. If/ when you get back together you can start anew!!
well i have to say as a man...i kinda dont blame him about the unnactractive thing...especially not knowing ure old weight. but yeahh i think u shuld lose 40 maybe even 50 lbs. if he cheated on u when u gaind 40lbs MAYBE thats forgiveable. but if he cheated on u before that then really, lose the 40 lbs, be as attractive as u can, and dump him. make him feel like he lost something, because its just wrong he cheated on u. id NEVER cheat on my girl friend
';He's cheated on me for 3 years... but he's a very caring person now...';





I did not read any further than that. I find it sad that you actually believe that. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on you THREE ****ing times, or the fact that you took him back all THREE times.
He told you directly to lose weight? Girl, he ain't worth your time. The best boyfriend you think you are beautiful no matter how much you weigh, or how you look, or anything. Break up with him... he really isn't worth your time. Plus, he cheated on you! For THREE years! That's unacceptable. Take it from me, and trust me on this one. He does not deserve you what so ever!
well here's the other thing if hes cheated on u once hes going to do it again its a man thing ok i mean girl if u have a ruff like u needsomebodyy that will always be there and not there for any other girl just u i think u need to let him go and get a new one im sry but beStrongg and do wats right iv been thought it all.
girl love is suppose to be unconditional. if he doesn't find you attractive he can cheat on you agin , if he really loves he should find you attractive no matter how big you get. and if he makes you feel like ***. he isn't the one.( plus he cheated on you for 3 years, and you still with him?!?!)
honnestly i would break up with him. if he cheated on you for 3 years than he obv. not worthy of you. and that is quite rude of him to say that you are unatractive!!!! tell him that it bothers you and talk to him about it, if you dont confront him calmy then it just going to get worse and your gonna get even more mad!! so talk to him or end it!!
Guys hate it when girls gain weight. Find out the reasons you have put on 40 lbs at your young age without a pregnancy (I assume). Then tackle the problem. No, love is not unconditional--that's naive. It should be but it never is. Concentrate on improving yourself and don't worry about this guy too much.
This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all.





I think you should realize that you can do better and you should move on. If he really is all that caring you can be friends...but I don't think it sounds like you're meant to be in a dating relationship.
I am sorry to say this, but you need to dump that guy. even though he is caring he cheated on you for 3 years that should be wake up call right there and than he won't even touch you. Why would you want to be with a person like him?
You are such a fool! If my girlfriend cheated on me even once, i wouldn't stand for it! I would chuck her straight on. I'm sure you'll find someone else. If he doesn't want to hold you, he's not the correct one for you, is he?
He cheated on you for 3 years?! what the hell! i don't even understand how you took him back after he cheated on you for freaking 3 YEARS! and if he cant accept you for the way you are then sweetheart don't even waste anymore of your time on him.
leave him. cuz he might cheat again and u shouldnt have been with him after he cheated. its wrong cuz he might be doing it again and he also cares more about looks than other more important things. i think u should leave him. there r plenty of guys out there who will ♥ u for who u r
AH.. THE CLASSIC QUESTION. WHO IS THE REAL FOOL HERE, THE MAN WHO CHEATS CONSTANTLY, OR THE GIRL WHO CONSTANTLY FORGIVES THE CHEATER? THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUSLY THE GIRL IS THE FOOL.
aww that's so terrible.


your boyfriend should always find you attractive. and he never should have cheated. that means he's really not the one for you. embrace the past, he deserves to be broken up with or something
Break up with him. He's an awful person. He only liked you for your looks. And he's cheated on you for 3 years! That's horrible. You don't want to deal with him. You want to end it.
when a woman starts making excuses for a man, it means that she believes something is better than nothing, which is false.





you should have left him when he cheated the first time. enough said.
If he cheated on you for 3 years, what makes you sure he isn't cheating now, or won't later? You deserve better, and move on. When you realize you can do better, you'll have better self esteem.
He cheats on you and says he isn't attracted to u. Love is unconditional. No girl deserves that. I think you should break up with him. Breaking up is difficult, but getting your heart broke is worse. I wish you the best. :)
Your boyfriend is a jerk





Dump him. One of the many reasons for dating is to make yourself happier. He is not making you happier. 3 years is too long.
woman get over it you may be a victim but you are also a dope for putting up with him and his nonsense. denial is a river in egypt, walk when you can fly